All things are bad, and college football is no different. Here’s a comprehensive guide on how to hate every team in each power five conference. All information is from Athlon Sports or Phil Steele.
Coach: Paul Johnson, option offense purist, occasionally mad about football
Key Players: Justin Thomas(QB), Marcus Marshall(HB), Clinton Lynch(HB), Qua Searchy(HB), Ricky Jeune(WR), PJ Davis(LB), Patrick Gamble(DT), KeShun Freeman(DE), Brant Mitchell(LB). Georgia Tech has more starting running backs returning than Ohio State has offensive starters returning. I’m not entirely convinced that Georgia Tech isn’t just a running back factory disguised as a college. They return 11 starters, which puts them at 78th in the country. That’s 11 starters from a 3-9 team, which is a really bad sign for this season.
Where: Atlanta, Georgia. Might be the least cool thing in Atlanta.
Why should you hate them: Georgia Tech finished last year with a turnover margin of -7, and they’re a triple option team, so that means a lot of those turnovers must have been fumbles, right? They had 14 fumbles lost last year, 124th worst in the country. But that’s not where the terrible turnover margin came from. The defense wasn’t even that bad last year, they forced 17 turnovers. But somehow, the offense managed to balance that out, with 10 interceptions, somehow. They only threw 192 passes and 10 of them were intercepted. Gross. Georgia Tech’s 3-9 season was unexpected, but it was caused almost entirely by their inability to hold on to the ball, or win close games. they went 1-6 in close games, and the one win was against Florida State, who was undefeated at the time. 2015 Georgia Tech made absolutely no sense. They finished 8th in rushing yards which would be really good, if they weren’t an option team, and if that 8th ranking didn’t mean that they finished behind 4 teams that don’t run an option offense. And unsurprisingly, the passing game didn’t help much, averaging just about 120 yards again, putting them at 124th in the country. The defense was insignificant in all ways last season, and if Georgia Tech is going to be better this season, which they almost certainly will be, the defense doesn’t really have to improve at all, the team as a whole just has to win in close games. And please, for the love of god, stop passing the ball. Now statistics aren’t enough to merit hatred, but Georgia Tech has something much more sinister to hate. They’re a Russell Athletic school, meaning that they’re outfitted by the same people who did your Pee Wee football uniforms. In 2016, a school is consciously choosing to wear uniforms that you could buy for 30 dollars at Kohls. I would even take Under Armour over Russell. The same Under Armour that’s ruined Maryland and South Carolina for years. That’s how bad Russell Athletic is. Change your uniforms, Georgia Tech, I’m begging you. You should hate Georgia Tech because they threw more interceptions last year than half the NCAA, including a lot of teams that passed the ball more than 300 hundred times, and because their jerseys are created by a company that should stay in 2005, where it belongs.